Oh, What a Life

Hi!

 

I hope you all have had an amazing New Years and that this 2019 will be the year you conquer it all. This post will be focusing on the lessons I have learnt in 2018. While some may not relate, I hope at least a few of you will.

**Warning: this is much deeper than what I tend to write, both style wise and topic wise**

  1. Even when you are afraid, still take the leap.

Sounds cliché, I know. Still, it is 100% true. Moving to Ireland was one of the biggest leaps I have taken in my life. I left all my friends and family behind, to start my own life. There are many “what ifs” that go through ones mind when moving to a different country. Not knowing anyone, not knowing the area, working at a new company, and wondering whether this is the RIGHT decision all create worries. What I took from that is  9 times out of 10, your worries don’t actually come true and that by doing what you are afraid of, you gain the most.

 

  1. Being alone is okay and loneliness is normal. It is what you make of it which matters.

Most people are afraid to be alone, so they get into relationships or get drunk every weekend with people they don’t even like to avoid being alone. While that is fine, the reality of it is that those people may not be alone, but they are most likely still lonely. So, what I have taken for that is not to settle for relationships or create bad habits to avoid being alone, but to embrace it. From that, you learn a hell of a lot about yourself and then after a while being able to be alone is what makes you strong. Loneliness proved to be a lot more difficult. Through loneliness comes sadness, and with that come decisions you may regret or the feeling that you actually can’t do everything you once thought you could. I learnt that you can’t control the feeling of being lonely, everyone feels lonely sometimes, it’s a part of life. Just try and remember it is but a feeling and it usually leaves just as quick as it comes.

 

  1. Stop trying to control every aspect of your life, the fact of the matter is that what is meant to happen will happen.

I’m a perfectionist, growing up I had every part of my life planned out. So far, none of those plans have actually happened. Life throws a ton of shit your way and suddenly you find yourself going down roads you never thought you would. At the same time, opportunities and people come your way, and if you take those opportunities and get to know those people, the plans you once had are replaced by new ones and the control you wanted is gone. I’m now okay with the lack of control I may have over what happens in my life because I know good or bad I can handle it. 2018 taught me just to take it as it comes.

 

  1. Explore, the world is gigantic and life passes you by whether you see it or not.

Moving to a different country and starting a job in maritime has opened many doors to seeing the world. Each trip I take allows me to see a different way of life with different types of people and mindsets, opening up my own mind and creating new opinions and thoughts. It is seeing the beauty of the world and the good of the people in it which makes me appreciate life and want to live every part of it to the fullest. I want to know that I did everything I could do to see as much as I possibly can. I refuse to be the woman who sat and watched life go by while everyone else lives it.

 

  1. When love comes knocking, let it in.

Life has handed me many battles, the biggest ones beng in relation to love. I’d say it turned me bitter and into someone I never hoped to be. Building up walls is a dangerous thing when you allow it turn you cold. I always knew that love and “feelings” would be a hurdle and for a long time I didn’t even try to get over it. I hurt a lot of people through my hurt and I will always be sorry for that. But what’s done is done and all I can do now I hope to become better. The biggest thing 2018 has given me is the realization that I am okay, I am not bitter anymore, and my heart is more open than it ever has been. There will obviously be bumps along the way cause that is what comes with growth, but I have gotten over the hurdle. If you had asked me a year ago if I would have answered the door when love came knocking, it would have been a hard no. This year though I’ll welcome it with open arms.

 

New year, new me… Nope, it will always still be the old me, but with some improvements. Growth is continuous and if you want to measure it with a timeline, then doing it yearly makes the most sense. The reason behind this post is more than I needed to understand exactly what I have learnt and how much I have grown. It was a year of emotions and challenges, but I am proud of myself and what more could you want than that.

 

I look forward to what 2019 will bring me, whether it be good or bad, I’m ready.

 

Lots of love,

 

Jam

 

 

 

Let me know what lessons you have learnt in 2018 or even what you hope to gain in 2019 below!

I’M BACK (AN UPDATE)

Hi Boys, Girls, and all in between,

SO sorry I have been MIA the past few months. Apparently life easily gets in the way… who knew?

The life of Jam has consisted of me getting engaged, buying a house, and making a million dollars. So all in all, I’ve absolutely been living.

Now, if you feel for all that, then you really are a sucker.

I am still single as a Pringle, though I am attempting to put myself back in the shark infested waters, aka the date life. In a future post I will update you all on my thoughts to do with modern dating.

I am still working and living in Cork, Ireland, where I absolutely love my job. Cork at times can become a bit suffocating, due to the size comparison to New York, but there is no place I’d rather continue building my life.

I have been on many more adventures, travel wise, which I will go into great detail in my future posts, full of what I recommend or even IF I recommend.

I also met my soulmate in life, her name is Ally. Nothing romantic. Please take your mind out of the gutter. To explain her that will likely cover multiple posts related to friendships, soulmates, and why you need one when you move to another country alone.

As I wait for my bus from Dublin airport to Cork (a lovely three hour journey), I go over all the thoughts I have gathered on my trip to New York. I saw family and friends there, which is always lovely, but have a bittersweet feeling in my heart. It leaves me with a question, which hopefully in due time I will have an answer for:

When does a place you once though of as home, stop being home? When do you realize that home might be elsewhere and you have finally made a life completely of your own?

 

That’s all for now folks, sleep is quickly trying to take over,

-JAM

Life in Cork, Week One

Let me start off by saying…I LOVE IT HERE. Literally, it is as if Cork and I are a match made in heaven. There is not one thing I don’t like about it, and for someone who always has something to critique, THAT is saying a lot. Now, it has only been one week, so who know what will happen? For now, I will give you my first five observations of Cork.

  1. The people here may be the friendliest in the world.

This is not New York, people here want to talk to everyone. They are ridiculously welcoming and would do anything for anybody it seems. Go anywhere alone and I guarantee you will end up having made a new friend.

  1. The weather is a popular topic.

I have not had one conversation which the weather did not become an important topic. It isn’t a one sentence type of topic either, the Irish really put their hearts into it and this topic can last a few minutes. It is quite impressive.

  1. Cork is a small, but extremely charming city.

Honestly when it comes to city size, small is always better. I love being able to walk literally anywhere in at most 20 minutes. It helps that its beautiful too, no matter where you look there is something which will catch your eye and you will have to stop for a second and stare.

  1. People love to drink.

I LOVE to drink, or so I thought… no, the irish LOVE to drink. Compared to the Irish I am at a “like” level and need to step my game up. It is fascinating how early in the morning (every morning) you see the empty kegs lined up alongside the street and a special truck just for kegs picks them up. If that doesn’t tell you what a love for drinking is, I don’t know what will.

  1. It rains a TON.

They weren’t lying when they said Ireland gets a ton of rain. They also didn’t mention that it isn’t a bad sort of rain, it’s more like a half drizzle. Most of the day it’s not raining at all, but I always pack an umbrella cause those downpours catch you when you least expect it. Living here for only a week, it turns out that I rather enjoy the rain.

 

So, these are my first five observations, clearly all very positive. I think as this journey in Cork continues, my love will only become stronger for this wonderful, tiny city.

 

Cheers,

 

Mirjam

The beginning of my life as a “career woman”

Today, I have begun my journey as part of the maritime industry work force. While working in Maritime has not been my dream my whole life, I mean princess trumps all, to become successful in the industry is now my one dream.

I plan to be one of those “career women,” the ones who love what they do and make their way to the top by working as hard as they possibly can. They have always been the women I look up to, the ones that do not quit. I am probably already a workaholic and it has only just begun, but for me, my career is my child… life will revolve around it.

There are many opinions when it comes to saying you want to be a “career woman.” There are the people who say, “but what about children” or “there are more important things in life than a career.” Honestly, that’s bullshit, I don’t hear anyone saying that to a man, so why say it to me. I mean, who knows where my life will go down the line, but for now it’s career for me.

That being said, I just arrived in Cork, Ireland to begin the first leg of my journey.  I will only be an intern, but since it is a fantastic maritime company I plan to learn all I can. The key to success is to learn and when it is finally time to go to Singapore for my actual career, I will be a tad bit more ready.

That is all for now folks.

Tune in for a post about my first week in Cork, next week!

Toodles,

Mirjam

A Journey Through Boulder, Colorado

Recently, I visited Boulder, Colorado (as stated in my airport post) to attend my best friend’s graduation. While it was fantastic seeing her, I have many opinions on Boulder itself. Below, you will find my various thoughts and takeaways from my trip to Boulder.

  1. It is legitimately hipster nation.

Honestly, I can’t stand hipstersand it’s not about how they dress or how “chill” they are, it’s just that I can’t relate. Hipsters and I have nothing to talk about and the ones in Boulder beat the ones in New York, for at least the ones in New York have reasonable plans for their future. So, if being an extreme hipster is your life’s goal, you will love Boulder.

  1. It has some of the best restaurants I have ever been to.

Literally, I think I gained five pounds and went to heaven multiple times with how amazing the food there was. From Asian to Southern, there was an endless choice of where and what you were going to eat. If eating is your thing, take a visit.

  1. Everyone is in shape.

The amount of people who made me stare in envy at their amazing bodies reached a whole new level. A constant topic is the amount of hiking, skiing, or biking that one does. And trust me, the time they spend doing these activities have definitely paid off. If you have some chub though (like me), you might feel a bit self-conscious, but hey, love yourself CAUSE YOU IS BEAUTIFUL.

  1. They are not lying when they say it is more difficult to breathe.

For one thing, the air smells much cleaner than New York air, so that is a plus. Due to the extreme elevation, the air is also less dense, thus it is more difficult to breathe. This was mostly realized when we climbed a mountain and I was ready to pass out within five minutes (worth it though.) It also makes you much more tired and dehydrated. So, if you have the urge to visit drink lots of water and take your time.

  1. It is absolutely stunning.

One of the aspects I loved about Boulder, was how beautiful the nature and scenery was. The mountains, both during the hike or just in the background, were breathtaking. This is “Sound of Music” level mountains and will not disappoint.

 

So, those are my five main takeaways from my trip to Boulder. It is not a place I would live or visit a second time, but would recommend everyone to visit at least once. It is a different way of living, but sometimes it is good to see how other people in different places live. For me, I just ended up appreciating New York more, cause it also has great food, more people with chub, and less hipsters.

 

P.S. I have determined that I enjoy writing in lists and most of my blogs will be in this format from now on. 

Boulder Mountains

“You’re all going to watch me disappear into the sun.”

This is a lyric from Lorde’s song, “Liability.” Since the first time I heard it, it has been engrained into my mind, and with this, my soul. While at first reaction it may seem like an extremely depressing lyric*, for me it is one which embodies an essence of hope and peace.

Turmoil in life is not something I am a stranger to, and while I can tell an entire sob story which explains all of the turmoil, that would counteract the purpose of my blog. Let’s remember, this is a blog meant to spur my more positive side and I aim to accomplish that. Also, as the cliché states: “Keep the past in the past.” AMEN, to whoever came up with that one.

So, back to the lyric, hope and peace. Hope is what every person needs in their life and peace is what one wants to accomplish in the end, is it not? Sure, some people say, “I want to be successful.” Or “I want to be insanely wealthy.” Or “I want to live until I’m 100.” Those are all GREAT aspirations, but are they what bring hope and peace to ones life? I doubt it, I mean success and wealth mostly lead to discontent in ones life or the feeling of never having enough, while saying you want to live until 100 tends to be unrealistic and might actually take away from you fully LIVING.

“You’re all going to watch me disappear into the sun.” For me, it is letting go of all expectations from others and yourself and leading a life that gives you peace. It allows you not to care about what the world thinks of you. It lets you leave the past behind and into a better, brighter future. It gives hope that one can get to that point, that even if life may be tough at the moment, there’s hope. It embodies the life I want to live. Remember, nothing stays bad forever, it will always turn around and we will all get our chance to disappear into the sun.

 

*I realize it can also be in relation to death and the sun being her form of the heaven. Different meanings for different people. Although the sun being the door to heaven (or whatever one believes in) would still be a peaceful thought.

 

What is a lyric or quote which inspires you and how?

Long Distance…Friendships.

As you grow up, it comes as no surprise that people move away and begin lives of their own. This is always tough, especially when it turns out being your two closest friends who move away.

As mentioned in the previous post, my best friend, Ciel, lives in Boulder, Colorado. That is a four-hour plane ride from where I currently live in New York. She has been my best friend since I was thirteen, so when she left five years ago, a part of me, dramatically, went with her.

My other best friend, Becca, who I have also known since I was thirteen, recently moved away to Israel. This, is obviously an even further distance away than Colorado, and I lost another part of me with her. (Clearly, I must be running low on parts.)

Now, I am all about the dramatics, but I truly was very torn up when they moved away. It felt as though I had lost them for good. This, of course did not happen because we are best friends for a reason and them moving away, but maintaining a ridiculously close relationship, only solidified that.

This post will explore the multitude of lessons I have learnt when it comes to have long distance friendships and maintaining them.

  1. They just live further away, they aren’t dead.

I’m not going to lie, when they moved, I cried as though they had died. This was in part since if I have the chance to overreact to something I will, and that I had never really been without them. If there was anything wrong in my life or I just wanted to hang out, they were just a five-minute drive away. But even when you no longer live five minutes away, you still have them in your life at some capacity, and that is better than not at all.

  1. Technology is a lifesaver.

Seriously, I could not imagine having lived during the time when you had to write letters and wait weeks for them to arrive. Technology has given us so many ways to stay in touch 24/7, if you really wanted to. USE THEM.

  1. Do not be the only one putting in the effort.

Like relationships of any sort, communication needs to go both ways. Sometimes, this means you do not talk for weeks or even months, but eventually one of you will reach out. Just make sure that when they do, you are there.

  1. Even when you have not spoken to or seen each other in months, when you finally are able to, it will feel as though you had never been apart from them in the first place.

I can go weeks without speaking to Ciel, yet whenever we get the chance to facetime or see each other, everything is the same as it was before. We have a bond which distance and time cannot change and I am blessed to have her in my life. Becca, on the other hand, we speak weekly and it remains one of the best parts of my week. So, when we see each other after months of being apart, it feels as though she has never lived more than five minutes away.

  1. Distance is the BEST way to see who your true friends are.

Honestly, it may seem like a ridiculous statement to say it is the BEST way, because why should you have to move to figure that one out? But I truly believe in it. It is the friends who stay in contact with you, worry about you, love you, and refuse to let your friendship die, even when you are hundreds or thousands of miles away, that are your true, soulmate level, friends. For me, those people will always be Becca and Ciel.

 

 

What are some lessons you have learnt when it comes to long distance friendships?