I’d have to say that one of the shittiest (excuse my French) feelings in the world has to be missing someone.
As talked about in a previous post, my love, aka my boyfriend, lives quite far away from me. 3,074 miles to be exact. Not even a drive away, but a six hour flight away. Add a five hour time difference, and you’re living the life.
The life of missing that person, that is.
Long distance is tough, it revolves around a lot of scheduling, waiting, and planning. You miss out on the things that most couples experience together daily and wish constantly that they were there with you.
Life becomes almost split, living in moments, waiting for the day you get to sit in each others company once more or have your toe touching their foot, at the very least. (One of my love languages or how I show love, other than giving gifts*, is physical touch, so that should explain that.)
But the missing, oh the damn missing, that is a feeling that is hard to control. You can control the sadness, the paranoia, and the stress, but the missing, I think is the feeling that always sticks around.
I could be the happiest person in the room, and a part of me will always feel the missing. The, just wanting to be with that person because they are the part of you that makes you feel the most whole.
Missing comes in waves mostly, sometimes it’s a little less because there’s more to distract you and other times, like nighttime, it’s like a smack in the face. I’ve really grown to hate the nighttime since there’s nothing I’d like more than for him to be next to me. Nighttime also tends to be the time of day my thoughts go on turbo engine mode, so it’s not a pretty mix, to say the least.
But the thing about missing is that it always comes to an end because you’re finally with that person again. And the funny thing is, the second that you’re with them, you forget about all the missing, and all that matters is that you’re together.
So, while missing is brutal, it has also taught me to appreciate the time I do get with my boyfriend a whole lot more. Even the times we FaceTime, those few moments a day, where I just get to stare at him** or hear his voice, count the most. They are, by far, the best part of my day, everyday.
The same goes for the days I have gotten to spend with him in person, because of all the missing, every second with him means something to me. They were some of the best days of my life, because he is the most important person to me. We could be doing absolutely nothing and I would rate a 11/10 day.
The fact of the matter is, missing someone is shit, but if you love them, you do what you can and you deal with some of the shittier things, like missing, to be with them. And like I said before, it’s never forever, the missing always comes to an end.
*I know the love language is receiving gifts, but since it is in regards to how I express love, I put it as giving.
**He hates when I stare, which means I have to do it even more, in even creepier ways, muahaha