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How to get through the “lows”

On By MirjamIn lessons, Uncategorized4 Comments

Hi All!

Sorry it has been so long! Life has handed me a rough patch and with it came the dreadful “lows.”

There should be no shame when it comes to mental health and I will be the first to admit that I have battled with my own mental health problems for years.

Life will not always be easy and the majority of it will be completely out of your control. It then becomes about learning how to get through the difficult times and if you have mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety, what helps bring positivity or even just the belief that you will make it though the rough patch at all.

This post will lend a look into the ways I deal with my periods of “lows” and hopefully help others realize they are not alone.

1. Try and find reasons as to WHY you may be in a “low” period.

Most of the time when I am going through a low, there are underlying causes as to why. (Of course, with depression this will not always be the case.) By weeding out these causes I am able to remove or fix them. For example, I had previously gone through a low and by taking a step back and evaluating my life, I found the reason behind my low to be an unhappiness with the shape I was in. This impacted various aspects of my mood, from not wanting to go out, to hating the way I looked in the mirror, to just being insecure in general. Once I realized that it was the root of my low, I set out to get in shape and with that I was able to get out of my rut. There are many reasons why one may be having a low and sometimes no reason at all, but no matter how hard it may seem, you will make it through.

2. It’s okay to not be happy ALL the time.

So many people go out into the daily world with a face of strength on. This face is meant to hide the feelings or the going ons beneath the surface. It is also why it is easy to feel as though we always need to be okay, that we all need to be happy 24/7. Sadness and lows are a part of life, embrace it, you will only learn from those emotions.

3. Stop comparing your journey to others.

With the world even more involved in social media it has become much easier to see how other peoples lives are evolving. This can lead to one feeling as though they are behind or they should have their own lives as completely together as others lives may seem. Try to remember that people do not post the bad on social media, it is like looking at the world through rose colored glasses. Go at your own speed and know that what is meant to be will be. Until then just try YOUR best, don’t let your life become anothers.

4. Leave your room!

With lows and depression, many people tend to isolate themselves. Even in movies people who are depressed are depicted as staying in bed in a dark room for days. DON’T do this, it will only make one feel more low. Go outside, sit in the sunshine, surround yourself with others even if it is the last thing you want to do. It will help distract you from whatever is going on in your mind and help you remember what living is all about.

5. Be gentle with yourself.

Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to have it all together. Realistically, none of us have it all figured out. Love yourself, be proud of the things you have lived through and fought through. Remind yourself how strong you are, how courageous you are, how absolutely one of kind you are. We all contribute something special to this world, people love you and believe in you. Just TRY to believe in yourself too.

6. Speak to a loved one or someone you trust.

One of the trickiest things for me is putting aside my pride and asking for help. It is okay to ask for help. No one said you have to do it all alone. Realize that asking for help is what makes one strong. Being in tune with your own emotions is a remarkable thing so be proud of that. The people who love you will always be there for you, all you need to do is ask.

7. Stop running.

My biggest fault is that I run. the second that life throws me a curveball or I hit a low, everything in me screams that it’s time to go. Suddenly I’m doing everything I can to escape, to not have to face what I’m feeling. That needs to stop. sometimes the best thing to do is face what you are most afraid of head on for it is the only way to conquer it. The only person who can get yourself out of a low is YOU. Running will only postpone that, the lows will come again and again until you say ENOUGH.

Depression, anxiety, and any other mental health problem can be the hardest thing one has to face in life. Sometimes we can conquer it, other times it remains a life long battle. Just please keep fighting, know it will be alright, and remember that you bring something special to the world for you are one of a kind and absolutely amazing.

Cheers,

Mirjam xx

What are some tips that you may have when it comes to mental health or fighting the dreadful “lows?”

Comment Below!

Oh, What a Life

On By MirjamIn Blog, lessons, Relationships, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Hi!

I hope you all have had an amazing New Years and that this 2019 will be the year you conquer it all. This post will be focusing on the lessons I have learnt in 2018. While some may not relate, I hope at least a few of you will.

**Warning: this is much deeper than what I tend to write, both style wise and topic wise**

  1. Even when you are afraid, still take the leap.

Sounds cliché, I know. Still, it is 100% true. Moving to Ireland was one of the biggest leaps I have taken in my life. I left all my friends and family behind, to start my own life. There are many “what ifs” that go through ones mind when moving to a different country. Not knowing anyone, not knowing the area, working at a new company, and wondering whether this is the RIGHT decision all create worries. What I took from that is  9 times out of 10, your worries don’t actually come true and that by doing what you are afraid of, you gain the most.

  1. Being alone is okay and loneliness is normal. It is what you make of it which matters.

Most people are afraid to be alone, so they get into relationships or get drunk every weekend with people they don’t even like to avoid being alone. While that is fine, the reality of it is that those people may not be alone, but they are most likely still lonely. So, what I have taken for that is not to settle for relationships or create bad habits to avoid being alone, but to embrace it. From that, you learn a hell of a lot about yourself and then after a while being able to be alone is what makes you strong. Loneliness proved to be a lot more difficult. Through loneliness comes sadness, and with that come decisions you may regret or the feeling that you actually can’t do everything you once thought you could. I learnt that you can’t control the feeling of being lonely, everyone feels lonely sometimes, it’s a part of life. Just try and remember it is but a feeling and it usually leaves just as quick as it comes.

  1. Stop trying to control every aspect of your life, the fact of the matter is that what is meant to happen will happen.

I’m a perfectionist, growing up I had every part of my life planned out. So far, none of those plans have actually happened. Life throws a ton of shit your way and suddenly you find yourself going down roads you never thought you would. At the same time, opportunities and people come your way, and if you take those opportunities and get to know those people, the plans you once had are replaced by new ones and the control you wanted is gone. I’m now okay with the lack of control I may have over what happens in my life because I know good or bad I can handle it. 2018 taught me just to take it as it comes.

  1. Explore, the world is gigantic and life passes you by whether you see it or not.

Moving to a different country and starting a job in maritime has opened many doors to seeing the world. Each trip I take allows me to see a different way of life with different types of people and mindsets, opening up my own mind and creating new opinions and thoughts. It is seeing the beauty of the world and the good of the people in it which makes me appreciate life and want to live every part of it to the fullest. I want to know that I did everything I could do to see as much as I possibly can. I refuse to be the woman who sat and watched life go by while everyone else lives it.

  1. When love comes knocking, let it in.

Life has handed me many battles, the biggest ones being in relation to love. I’d say it turned me bitter and into someone I never hoped to be. Building up walls is a dangerous thing when you allow it to turn you cold. I always knew that love and “feelings” would be a hurdle and for a long time I didn’t even try to get over it. I hurt a lot of people through my hurt and I will always be sorry for that. But what’s done is done and all I can do now I hope to become better. The biggest thing 2018 has given me is the realization that I am okay, I am not bitter anymore, and my heart is more open than it ever has been. There will obviously be bumps along the way cause that is what comes with growth, but I have gotten over the hurdle. If you had asked me a year ago if I would have answered the door when love came knocking, it would have been a hard no. This year though I’ll welcome it with open arms.

New year, new me… Nope, it will always still be the old me, but with some improvements. Growth is continuous and if you want to measure it with a timeline, then doing it yearly makes the most sense. The reason behind this post is more than I needed to understand exactly what I have learnt and how much I have grown. It was a year of emotions and challenges, but I am proud of myself and what more could you want than that.

I look forward to what 2019 will bring me, whether it be good or bad, I’m ready.

Lots of love,

Jam

Let me know what lessons you have learnt in 2018 or even what you hope to gain in 2019 below!

I’M BACK (AN UPDATE)

On By MirjamIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Hi Boys, Girls, and all in between,

SO sorry I have been MIA the past few months. Apparently life easily gets in the way… who knew?

The life of Jam has consisted of me getting engaged, buying a house, and making a million dollars. So all in all, I’ve absolutely been living.

Now, if you fell for all that, then you really are a sucker.

I am still single as a Pringle, though I am attempting to put myself back in the shark infested waters, aka the dating life. In a future post I will update you all on my thoughts to do with modern dating.

I am still working and living in Cork, Ireland, where I absolutely love my job. Cork at times can become a bit suffocating, due to the size comparison to New York, but there is no place I’d rather continue building my life.

I have been on many more adventures, travel wise, which I will go into great detail in my future posts, full of what I recommend or even IF I recommend.

I also met my soulmate in life, her name is Ally. Nothing romantic. Please take your mind out of the gutter. To explain her that will likely cover multiple posts related to friendships, soulmates, and why you need one when you move to another country alone.

As I wait for my bus from Dublin airport to Cork (a lovely three hour journey), I go over all the thoughts I have gathered on my trip to New York. I saw family and friends there, which is always lovely, but have a bittersweet feeling in my heart. It leaves me with a question, which hopefully in due time I will have an answer for:

When does a place you once though of as home, stop being home? When do you realize that home might be elsewhere and you have finally made a life completely of your own?

That’s all for now folks, sleep is quickly trying to take over,

-JAM