There she goes, disappearing again…

I know, I know, I am the worst. Saying “I’M BACK” and disappearing for yet another few months…BUT I promise, this time I really am back!

Let me hit you with a quick update on the life of Jam a.k.a me:

  1. Moved back to good old ‘MURICA.
  2. Got a new job (still in shipping, cause gotta stick to what you know.)
  3. Moved into a new apartment (all mine and lovin’ it.)
  4. Got my little ol’ self into therapy and have stuck to it for the past eight months. (It’s been busy putting all my pieces back together.)
  5. Became a bit of a Yogi (not the bear.)
  6. Still working on loving my body, but the number on the scale stopped bothering me as much (so that’s a win right?)
  7. Met and fell in love with my best friend.

There, of course, is plenty more that has happened in the past year since you last heard from me, but the ones above are by far the biggest. It’s always been a fight, but lately its begun to feel like one I can win. While the world has been in chaos all around me, it seems funny that I have never been at such peace.

Each of these seven points will be elaborated on in future posts, but for now I’ll leave you with that.

I hope you all are well and are staying safe & healthy.



“You’re all going to watch me disappear into the sun.”

This is a lyric from Lorde’s song, “Liability.” Since the first time I heard it, it has been engrained into my mind, and with this, my soul. While at first reaction it may seem like an extremely depressing lyric*, for me it is one which embodies an essence of hope and peace.

Turmoil in life is not something I am a stranger to, and while I can tell an entire sob story which explains all of the turmoil, that would counteract the purpose of my blog. Let’s remember, this is a blog meant to spur my more positive side and I aim to accomplish that. Also, as the cliché states: “Keep the past in the past.” AMEN, to whoever came up with that one.

So, back to the lyric, hope and peace. Hope is what every person needs in their life and peace is what one wants to accomplish in the end, is it not? Sure, some people say, “I want to be successful.” Or “I want to be insanely wealthy.” Or “I want to live until I’m 100.” Those are all GREAT aspirations, but are they what bring hope and peace to ones life? I doubt it, I mean success and wealth mostly lead to discontent in ones life or the feeling of never having enough, while saying you want to live until 100 tends to be unrealistic and might actually take away from you fully LIVING.

“You’re all going to watch me disappear into the sun.” For me, it is letting go of all expectations from others and yourself and leading a life that gives you peace. It allows you not to care about what the world thinks of you. It lets you leave the past behind and into a better, brighter future. It gives hope that one can get to that point, that even if life may be tough at the moment, there’s hope. It embodies the life I want to live. Remember, nothing stays bad forever, it will always turn around and we will all get our chance to disappear into the sun.


*I realize it can also be in relation to death and the sun being her form of the heaven. Different meanings for different people. Although the sun being the door to heaven (or whatever one believes in) would still be a peaceful thought.


What is a lyric or quote which inspires you and how?