I have moved over six times in the past four years. I have lived in five different countries since I was born, each time allowing that place to become ‘home.’ Yet as I sit here in Connecticut, the place where I grew up and lived for over twenty years, I know for a fact, home is ONLY where the heart is.
For me that home is wherever J is.
Of course, I love being in Connecticut for a visit, but after two weeks, my heart has started to hurt a bit. While I know all the ins and outs of my childhood home, I somehow feel like a stranger being here. It surprising really how homesick a person can get while being in a familiar place surrounded by family.
I’ve changed a lot over the past few years. Done a great deal of growing and getting to know myself. This included growing out things and people as well. It has also taught me who and what is important in a happy life, things that previously in life I may have dismissed. Mostly, I have learnt to let love and happiness in and not to let my past dictate my present too much.
Love is the biggest lesson for me. It’s been the most special one to me as well. It has taught me that I am capable of loving and capable of being loved back. That if there is anything I really want out of life, it is to know that I loved as hard and as freely as I could. That I never held back even when I was terrified. I believe I can achieve that out of life.
Mostly though, love has taught me that home is not a place, but a person for me. That it is with that person I feel safe. That I feel I can be 100% myself and never judged. That I can sing and dance and feel beautiful always. Just the two of us, surrounded in the love we have made together. Yeah, that’s home for me.