Tag: growth

Home Is Where The Heart Is

On By MirjamIn life, RelationshipsLeave a comment

I have moved over six times in the past four years. I have lived in five different countries since I was born, each time allowing that place to become ‘home.’ Yet as I sit here in Connecticut, the place where I grew up and lived for over twenty years, I know for a fact, home is ONLY where the heart is.

For me that home is wherever J is.

Of course, I love being in Connecticut for a visit, but after two weeks, my heart has started to hurt a bit. While I know all the ins and outs of my childhood home, I somehow feel like a stranger being here. It surprising really how homesick a person can get while being in a familiar place surrounded by family.

I’ve changed a lot over the past few years. Done a great deal of growing and getting to know myself. This included growing out things and people as well. It has also taught me who and what is important in a happy life, things that previously in life I may have dismissed. Mostly, I have learnt to let love and happiness in and not to let my past dictate my present too much.

Love is the biggest lesson for me. It’s been the most special one to me as well. It has taught me that I am capable of loving and capable of being loved back. That if there is anything I really want out of life, it is to know that I loved as hard and as freely as I could. That I never held back even when I was terrified. I believe I can achieve that out of life.

Mostly though, love has taught me that home is not a place, but a person for me. That it is with that person I feel safe. That I feel I can be 100% myself and never judged. That I can sing and dance and feel beautiful always. Just the two of us, surrounded in the love we have made together. Yeah, that’s home for me.

“It’s Okay To See A Therapist”

On By MirjamIn lessons, mental health1 Comment

These words were said to me by a close friend a few years ago when I was going through one of lowest points in my life. Back then, it was something I heard, but never took to heart.

I waited another three years after that until I finally set my ego aside and marched into my therapist’s office. That, remains one of my best decisions to date.

Looking back, I wonder why I had such an issue with the idea of going to therapy. It was never anything that would hurt me, it only benefits me, yet I had so much pride that therapy was seen as the last resort for me.

To think that I thought I was tough enough mentally to do it all on my own, was entirely insane. Sometimes you just need help. For me, therapy gives me the chance to just talk. Talk to someone who has no biased option and who only wants the best for me. Talk until I pretty much talk myself into a solution or talk myself into fully understanding what I am thinking or even feeling.

Just given that freedom to talk and air out whatever I have going on in that churning mind of mine. The mind that never stops thinking, that never stops worrying, the mind that seems to always be running from something. Therapy allows me to organize those thoughts better, it allows me to breathe a bit.

“It’s okay to see a therapist.” It plays in my mind everytime I doubt myself or feel the least bit badly about having to go to therapy. I now know it is okay to ask for help and to seek that help. It turns out that taking that little step was worth everything. It saved me.

Cheers!

Mirjam

Let me know your experiences or thoughts on therapy in the comments! Xx