Healing & Friendships

I have never had an easy time with making friends. It’s an area that I feel needs a lot of trust and I have trouble giving that out.

One of my biggest faults is that I am so closed off from people. It is difficult to open up and let people in. It is definitely a side of me that has not fully healed from the past.

When I meet a new person, I like to observe them, see what they are about. This often comes across the wrong way, as it can be seen as judging. Fact of the matter is, I’m not judging, I’m just trying to figure out whether I am safe with the person.

Can I trust this person? Can I tell them things about me? Let them get to know me? Will they find a way to hurt or betray me? Analyse, analyse, analyse.

Too much analysing usually makes you lose your chance though.

I wish I could be the open, carefree person, who is just friends with everyone. The thought alone scares me though.

As often as I talk about wanting new friends, the truth of the matter is, I’m probably just not ready for new ones. I’m learning to be okay with that, in a world where everyone seems to be amazing at socialising. Healing takes time, building trust takes even more, and the right people will come and be patient. Most of all, they will stay.

Hey, Soul Sister

So, many of my recent posts have been a bit on the “deeper” side and I figured it was about time I told the world about my best friend, Ally.

This is her birthday weekend and I will be going up to Boston after six long months apart to celebrate it with her. Let the drinking and gossip commence!

Here’s a little background:

Ally and I met two years ago, while living abroad in Ireland, through an app. A very modern way to start this story, I’d say. At the time, I had only been living there for two weeks, while she had been there for a few years already. I had lived abroad a few times at that point and knew the best way to meet people was either by going out or going online. This means Facebook groups or modern apps, such as Bumble Friends. We used a different one, which actually does not exist anymore (RIP.)

Ally reached out to me and we soon began talking and made plans to meet that very week. Honestly, the whole thing felt like a date, minus the romantic interest. We hit it off so well it was as if we had known each other our entire lives. From that point on, we actually became inseparable. So much so, we moved in together the same year.

Fast forward to today:

Both of us have since moved back to the States, living about three hours apart. Might be hard for some, but we talk 24/7, so besides not seeing each other every minute of the day, things haven’t really changed.

Ally was the friend I needed at the time where life was a bit confusing. Moving to new places is always hard, especially when it is completely alone. Add having the emotional baggage your carrying along, it becomes even harder. Ally and I were in similar situations when we met, both working through things, both needing that person to build the other back up. We always say, we saved each other.

She’s my soul sister, the one who gets me without me even having to say a word. She cheers me on from every sideline, pushing me to always do my best. Sometimes I think she believes in me more than I believe in myself.

Everyone needs a person in their life who is like Ally. I am extremely lucky to have her as a best friend in life. It’s a lifelong friendship for me, one I will never take for granted and I know it’s the same for her. Life only gives you a few genuinely good people, so I say when you find them, whoever it may be, best friend, family, or partner, make sure to hold on tight cause it’s love and friendship which make the journey worth it.

Cheers!

Mirjam

Do you have any people who you cannot see life without? People who feel like they were put in your life at the time you needed someone the most? Let me know all about them in the comments! Xx