Learning to Love my Natural Self

Growing up female is hard enough as it is. As girls we spend a little too much changing ourselves to fit in and it doesn’t get much better as we get older. As women, at least you learn to develop a sense of self for the most part, which might help you branch away from the social norm. For me, this would be loving my natural self, which might not fit the standard of beauty that one is accustomed to in the media around us.

That being said, I am beautiful, but I have spent many years changing myself to fit western beauty ideology. This is due to many outside factors, including my peers who while I was young would have snide comments about my hair. My wild, frizzy, curly hair. My biggest insecurity growing up.

I remember being 13 and having one of my closest friends tell me my hair resembled a rat’s nest. And the boy at 15 who I had a crush on, who told me, my face was pretty, but I’d be better if I did something about my hair. That’s when the years of straightening my hair daily began.

It’s funny how it it other people who change the perspective on yourself. I used to love my curls, sure they were difficult to manage, but I had always felt they fit me nicely. But if everyone says straight hair is better, it must be right?

I started to try and love my natural hair in my early twenties, but I would only ever wear it natural around people I was comfortable with. never outside the house and never around a stranger. I didn’t want to be looked at and feel as though i was not beautiful.

It was this year during COVID that I truly began to embrace my curls. They are a lot of work, but the bigger they are, the more I love them. The wilder they are, the more free I feel. It’s with my curls that I finally feel like me again. It doesn’t matter if they do not fit everyone’s perception of beauty, I feel beautiful. And that’s all that matters right?