Becoming American

I may not have been born in America, but I grew up here. We moved from Curacao when I was four and I stayed until I was 23. From there, it has been a lot of back and forth between America and Ireland for me. But I have always been American, just my status as an Alien Resident said otherwise.

It is a strange thing to feel so American, sound so American, act so American, yet not fully be considered American for so many years. I also wouldn’t be considered fully Dutch, as I haven’t lived in the Netherlands since I was one. So, for the longest time, it was conflict between the Dutch side of me and the American. Figuring out which one I truly was.

If you ask me now, I’d say I’m both. I have my parent who raised us with Dutch traditions and the Dutch language, but I have my whole childhood and adulthood which made me American.

As of yesterday, October 6th, 2021, I can proudly say I am an American citizen. It was 27 years in the making, but it’s finally official.

It’s a weird sensation becoming a citizen, both an emotional one, but a calming one. Emotional, as I feel a big weight lifted off my shoulders, but also calming because I finally feel that I belong.

I will always consider myself to be Dutch American, never fully one or the other. It fills me with pride to have such background and I am honoured to be able to be both. But ‘American’ has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

The Next Step

Today, we put our deposit down for our new apartment. We are finally doing the move to the Netherlands. For my partner, J, this is all new, but for me, I have been waiting my whole life to move back to the Netherlands.

It has taken many twists and turns, countries and jobs, to end up heading back to the country my life began. Each step was meant to be, and has made me into the person I am today. Each experience I have had, both the good and the bad, have shaped me and prepared me for this life ahead.

Really though, I am blessed to have a partner who is so supportive of me and is as adventurous as I am. I honestly believe he is the one who really pushed me into finally taking the leap to move to the one place I have always dreamed to be. It is an adventure we are now able to take together and I cannot wait.

Being born in Rotterdam and growing up in a Dutch family living in America, I have always maintained a strong love for the motherland. With majority of my family still living in the Netherlands, there is a real sense of ‘coming home’ with this move.

It will, of course, as any move be an adjustment and maybe a culture shock, but I believe it is the start of a glorious new chapter. The Dutch chapter, the one where I’m in love with life, my partner, our ‘future’ cat, and my country.

I hope to keep you all updated on the move and the adjustment regarding living in the Netherlands, as well as, bring you many new stories and experiences. It’s sure to be a rollercoaster, so fasten your seatbelts!

Tale of a Restless Spirit

I think my biggest fear in life is living a mediocre one. For me, that would be settling for a job I don’t like, or settling for a person not meant for me, or just doing anything that doesn’t make me 100% happy.

I see it all around me, people settling because what they have is just “fine”, it pays the bills, it gives them a family, or stability. Whatever the case may be, they find something that just passes and they stick to it.

I don’t want “fine,” I want to absolutely knock it out of the park. I want that life with travel, I want to be with my the love of my life and not call it “settling” and I want to know that I did everything I possibly could have to make it a life that was worth living.

The restlessness of my spirit sometimes eats at me, it leads to so much overthinking and wondering. Sometimes it really feels like a curse, being unable to take what I have and make that feel enough. I think it’s because I know I am capable of more.

My biggest area of restlessness is my work. Going through my twenties I have had trouble finding that job that I love and want to go to everyday, one that the passion never fades in. I seem to keep getting stuck in jobs where they turn into only a way to make ends meet.

While many people are alright with that, I am not. I will continue searching till I find what fits me, the type of job I wake up excited to go to work for. I know I have worked hard to get to where I am now and I have the time to keep searching, so I will keep truckin’ on.

Another part of my restless spirit is that I have trouble staying in on place. I always have the itch to go somewhere new, which probably explains me having moved so many times. I get that from my parents. They got married and moved about seven times until settling in the States.

I have the need to see the world, to see how people work, to experience, but mostly to observe. I want to know the differences in people among me and I want to know the similarities. Sometimes I think I want to know too much.

The restlessness of my spirit gives me drive. It won’t ever allow me to stop or to take less than I deserve or am capable of. It will allow me to make the most out of my life, allow me to see the world, and allow me to be the happiest me I can become.

So yes, a restless spirit is not an easy one, but it’s worth it because with that restless spirit I can make all my dreams come true.



Life in Cork, Week One

Let me start off by saying…I LOVE IT HERE. Literally, it is as if Cork and I are a match made in heaven. There is not one thing I don’t like about it, and for someone who always has something to critique, THAT is saying a lot. Now, it has only been one week, so who know what will happen? For now, I will give you my first five observations of Cork.

  1. The people here may be the friendliest in the world.

This is not New York, people here want to talk to everyone. They are ridiculously welcoming and would do anything for anybody it seems. Go anywhere alone and I guarantee you will end up having made a new friend.

  1. The weather is a popular topic.

I have not had one conversation which the weather did not become an important topic. It isn’t a one sentence type of topic either, the Irish really put their hearts into it and this topic can last a few minutes. It is quite impressive.

  1. Cork is a small, but extremely charming city.

Honestly when it comes to city size, small is always better. I love being able to walk literally anywhere in at most 20 minutes. It helps that its beautiful too, no matter where you look there is something which will catch your eye and you will have to stop for a second and stare.

  1. People love to drink.

I LOVE to drink, or so I thought… no, the irish LOVE to drink. Compared to the Irish I am at a “like” level and need to step my game up. It is fascinating how early in the morning (every morning) you see the empty kegs lined up alongside the street and a special truck just for kegs picks them up. If that doesn’t tell you what a love for drinking is, I don’t know what will.

  1. It rains a TON.

They weren’t lying when they said Ireland gets a ton of rain. They also didn’t mention that it isn’t a bad sort of rain, it’s more like a half drizzle. Most of the day it’s not raining at all, but I always pack an umbrella cause those downpours catch you when you least expect it. Living here for only a week, it turns out that I rather enjoy the rain.


So, these are my first five observations, clearly all very positive. I think as this journey in Cork continues, my love will only become stronger for this wonderful, tiny city.





A Journey Through Boulder, Colorado

Recently, I visited Boulder, Colorado (as stated in my airport post) to attend my best friend’s graduation. While it was fantastic seeing her, I have many opinions on Boulder itself. Below, you will find my various thoughts and takeaways from my trip to Boulder.

  1. It is legitimately hipster nation.

Honestly, I can’t stand hipstersand it’s not about how they dress or how “chill” they are, it’s just that I can’t relate. Hipsters and I have nothing to talk about and the ones in Boulder beat the ones in New York, for at least the ones in New York have reasonable plans for their future. So, if being an extreme hipster is your life’s goal, you will love Boulder.

  1. It has some of the best restaurants I have ever been to.

Literally, I think I gained five pounds and went to heaven multiple times with how amazing the food there was. From Asian to Southern, there was an endless choice of where and what you were going to eat. If eating is your thing, take a visit.

  1. Everyone is in shape.

The amount of people who made me stare in envy at their amazing bodies reached a whole new level. A constant topic is the amount of hiking, skiing, or biking that one does. And trust me, the time they spend doing these activities have definitely paid off. If you have some chub though (like me), you might feel a bit self-conscious, but hey, love yourself CAUSE YOU IS BEAUTIFUL.

  1. They are not lying when they say it is more difficult to breathe.

For one thing, the air smells much cleaner than New York air, so that is a plus. Due to the extreme elevation, the air is also less dense, thus it is more difficult to breathe. This was mostly realized when we climbed a mountain and I was ready to pass out within five minutes (worth it though.) It also makes you much more tired and dehydrated. So, if you have the urge to visit drink lots of water and take your time.

  1. It is absolutely stunning.

One of the aspects I loved about Boulder, was how beautiful the nature and scenery was. The mountains, both during the hike or just in the background, were breathtaking. This is “Sound of Music” level mountains and will not disappoint.


So, those are my five main takeaways from my trip to Boulder. It is not a place I would live or visit a second time, but would recommend everyone to visit at least once. It is a different way of living, but sometimes it is good to see how other people in different places live. For me, I just ended up appreciating New York more, cause it also has great food, more people with chub, and less hipsters.


P.S. I have determined that I enjoy writing in lists and most of my blogs will be in this format from now on. 

Boulder Mountains

The many thoughts which cross my mind at an airport…

Let’s begin this post by informing you why I am at an airport in the first place. My best friend of over ten years is graduating college, so naturally being her number one fan, I must be there. She lives and goes to school in Boulder, Colorado, which will be my destination for the remainder of this week. (I will make sure to write a review at the end of the week.)

Now, I have been traveling since I was nine months old, at an average of three trips a year, mostly international. So, it is safe to say that it is something I am used to doing and I thoroughly enjoy every aspect of it, except the airports. This post will inform of all the good and bad thoughts that cross my mind during every airport experience I have had.

  1. Most people at airports are very grumpy.

They become especially agitated going through security because no matter how many times you have done it, it feels like the first time. What I mean by that is the questions, “Belt off? Shoes off? Is this a liquid?” are asked EVERYTIME. I mean by now one should know the drill…right? Nope.

  1. The expectation that ones flight will be delayed or cancelled, should always be there.

Over the past five years, almost every trip I have taken, my flight has been cancelled or delayed and my luggage has been lost. So, it is my belief that a trip which goes smoothly should be more surprising than one with cancellations or delays. (If you think this way, you can never be disappointed.)

  1. You are always extra hungry.

When it comes to flying, I must buy snacks before I get to the airport, even when I know I will just end up buying more at the airport. For some reason, snacks just become more appealing and the need to buy them is one I cannot fight, especially when you are passing them while walking the miles to your terminal. Even then, no matter how much I buy and prepare, I will never say no to service during the flight. Oh? Mini pretzels? Yes, please.

  1. Wear sneakers, because running in heels when you are late for a flight is a nightmare.

I am a complete fashionista, I cannot leave my house without makeup on my face and my outfit on fleeky. For me, this means that my shoes must always be some type of heel. Even though I have experienced running to gates in heels multiple times and feeling the pain of blisters and sweat all over my body, I still insist on wearing heels. While, I refuse to submit to the idea of wearing sneakers at an airport, I advise everyone else to have common sense and wear them.

  1. People always look very tired or out of it.

The most likely reasons behind this is that its either very early in the morning, this is their lay-over, or they have just popped a few Xanax and are feeling fantastic.

  1. Airport arrivals are one of my favorite parts of life.

Have you ever watched the YouTube videos of soldiers coming home and reuniting with their families? Yeah. Total tearjerker. Well, for me, that is the entire vibe of an arrival gate. Everyone has a total look of relief on their faces, no matter how tired they are because the journey is finally done. There is either excitement to be in a new place and realizing exploration is about to begin, or just pure content about being HOME. Finally, if you are experiencing a reunion with a loved one, there cannot be a better feeling or display of emotion than that. I don’t even have to know the person, but when I see a reunion I could cry happy tears with them.

  1. Airports are still airports, no matter how fun they try to make them.

If you travel the world, you will see that every airport is unique and many try to add features which make the experience better and more appealing. This can be done with restaurants, shopping, movie theaters, art, gardens, and massages. Some airports even have hair and nail salons, you know just in case you feel like suddenly getting a makeover. At the end of the day, no one really wants to be at the airport, but thanks for trying anyway. **

So, while I write this from my Economy Class seat, 37,000 feet in the air, eating my mini pretzels, just know I cannot wait get to that arrival gate and have my own tear-filled reunion.


**While I do poke fun at airports trying their best to be more appealing, I do look forward to seeing the Singapore airport in a few months, since it is said to be the best in the world. It even has a waterfall.

What are some of the thoughts that go through your mind at an airport? Share in the comments below!