As you grow up, it comes as no surprise that people move away and begin lives of their own. This is always tough, especially when it turns out being your two closest friends who move away.
As mentioned in the previous post, my best friend, Ciel, lives in Boulder, Colorado. That is a four-hour plane ride from where I currently live in New York. She has been my best friend since I was thirteen, so when she left five years ago, a part of me, dramatically, went with her.
My other best friend, Becca, who I have also known since I was thirteen, recently moved away to Israel. This, is obviously an even further distance away than Colorado, and I lost another part of me with her. (Clearly, I must be running low on parts.)
Now, I am all about the dramatics, but I truly was very torn up when they moved away. It felt as though I had lost them for good. This, of course did not happen because we are best friends for a reason and them moving away, but maintaining a ridiculously close relationship, only solidified that.
This post will explore the multitude of lessons I have learnt when it comes to have long distance friendships and maintaining them.
- They just live further away, they aren’t dead.
I’m not going to lie, when they moved, I cried as though they had died. This was in part since if I have the chance to overreact to something I will, and that I had never really been without them. If there was anything wrong in my life or I just wanted to hang out, they were just a five-minute drive away. But even when you know longer live five minutes away, you still have them in your life at some capacity, and that is better than not at all.
- Technology is a lifesaver.
Seriously, I could not imagine having lived during the time when you had to write letters and wait weeks for them to arrive. Technology has given us so many ways to stay in touch 24/7, if you really wanted to. USE THEM.
- Do not be the only one putting in the effort.
Like relationships of any sort, communication needs to go both ways. Sometimes, this means you do not talk for weeks or even months, but eventually one of you will reach out. Just make sure that when they do, you are there.
- Even when you have not spoken to or seen each other in months, when you finally are able to, it will feel as though you had never been apart from them in the first place.
I can go weeks without speaking to Ciel, yet whenever we get the chance to facetime or see each other, everything is the same as it was before. We have a bond which distance and time cannot change and I am blessed to have her in my life. Becca, on the other hand, we speak weekly and it remains one of the best parts of my week. So, when we see each other after months of being apart, it feels as though she has never lived more than five minutes away.
- Distance is the BEST way to see who your true friends are.
Honestly, it may seem like a ridiculous statement to say it is the BEST way, because why should you have to move to figure that one out? But I truly believe in it. It is the friends who stay in contact with you, worry about you, love you, and refuse to let your friendship die, even when you are hundreds or thousands of miles away, that are your true, soulmate level, friends. For me, those people will always be Becca and Ciel.
What are some lessons you have learnt when it comes to long distance friendships?